__ dun let me go meet nana ):

i really wonder why i listen to ___ soooo much.

i think because i just want to avoid all the arguments perhaps? hmmm.

i went harbourfront for the interview

and it turn out great i guess.

now all i have to is wait.

sun & mon i have an interview also.

monday just dun mention it.

i have tons of interview to go to.

and for those who wondering.

yes. i have quit my pathetic job.

mayb i was used to being a tai tai at home taking care of ferral. *grins

today i spent the whole day at home sleeping and resting my ass :)

literally the whole day okay. only wake up to eat dinner at 7pm.

tmrw i'm watching harry potter!! 

i'll review it later tmrw okay. 

and the new book i just started reading called 'hollywood husbands' is boring

think of changing a new book soon.

ouh and yesterday night. meet mr.f at his workplace.

while we were seating infront of TampinesONE chit-chatting

i saw this motorcyclist and he was turning.

it was so low and my heart almost drop looking at him.

for a moment i was stunned. 

and for all who are wondering y.

i had an accident with my brother on his DRZ bike.

erm consider it like 1 mth ago. on the 24 june.

it was so damn suay lor.

#1 it was my first time on his DRZ bike 

because he change his bike when i was pregnant so i gt no chance riding it then.

#2 it happen early in the morning at 6am

and the best thing is

#3 it was only a 10mins experience on the bike

WHY?

6am- he ask me to follow him buy breakfast.

teringin nasi lemak pe psl.

so start the engine.

then out.

on the first turn and BAM! accident happen

and frm my home we have to turn first then we can proceed with the journey.

so imagine tht!

and till now the wound still blm baik2 lagi and it still hurt to the core.

cause during tht time i was terseret under the bike.

imagine this okay

a small little pendek girl under a DRZ bike.

see how bad it was

and my leg can see the bone

so after that i have this phobia of riding bike.

then i thought okay lar.

i can still ride again since it like a long time ago

but yesterday night when i saw tht guy turn

suddenly i have this flashback.

then i say

kalau aku da nmpk dekni pusing jek

hati aku da mcm nk terkluar

ape lagi nk naik lagi.

so yea.

i think thst it with me and bikes.

i dun think i can ride again.

so i can just say byebye to motor license.

i just stick to car okay :)

i'm blogging this to kill time actually.

so nana ask me out on a date. did i tell u?

hahaha. okay i'm freaking excited right now. so later meeting nana :) :)

i hope i guess and yana hasn't confirm yet cox tee book out today.

so anihoos~

had a small talk with nana just nw over at msn.

and she told me i'm falling in love again with mr. ehem ehem :)

gosh. wad can i say. mayb tht was wad my heart is trying to say to me.

ouh and i just finish reading this book by josephine cox title 'love me or leave me'

tht was sooooooooooooo a book to read babes!

here is the summary:

Eva and Bill was childhood friend. Bill was an adopted son of her aunty. And they fell in love when they were kids. Nothing change as years go by. One day when Eva parents was killed in a fire at her own home. they reunited again. but after knowing Bill was married. she was hurt but still kepp the feeling inside her.Senang kater both still have the love feeling but was scare to confess it. so Eva took set on her new adventurous journey. she got married to psycho and even lost her baby. then after years of being seprated with Bill, after what have eva gone through. her bestfriend,Patsy let them reunited again as she search for him everywhere she could. Ouh yar. When Eva left for a new life, she ws to torn apart so she ask Bill was to never look for her anymore if he really wants to see her become happy. So after reuniting they confessed to each other and get married. It may sound boring to you i think but i guess that was a great story with high and up climax.so yea. moral of the book: when u love someone. tell him/her straight and dun hide your feelings as later #1 you will hurt deeply, #2 you will waste your time with some other women/men when u can cut it short and spend wonderful memories and not be hurt in the process and lastly u will never get over it. trust me. heh. :) so now i think i'm telling someone i have feelings for him :) mayb i shld do it okay. lets see.

so anihoos~

 its 5pm and i think i shld be out right now.

i really dun want to be late for this.

wish me luck okay

-quoted by nana

it really do make me laugh. think abt it. its has some meaning there.

i just woke up after i slpt at 9am in the morning.

heh. pikiran tau tk? krg mane tau nie semue. haha

so i took care of montel. mandikan and he was sent to the babysitter.

& if u are asking why i sent to a babysitter rather than i too care of it.

ouh i will to trade tht for anything but sadly i'm working 

and to day i gt this interview to go to

& besides i have to pay her like $350 every month.

so anihoos~ 

i read my previous post. 

oh boy was i really stress and frustrated.

okay i know i shldn't have over-reacted 

but i was stress and lonely.

today i receive a called frm ____ regarding the lappie.

and boy am i receiving good news or wad. 

okay. i half happy at least & i cn put my mind on ease

and ouh did i tell nana pm me yest.

i was superb happy. okay right word. overjoy :)

gosh i miss those old good times at cathay.

i was really really happy back then with nothing to worry abt.

and 1 year later. bam! this happen.

okay lets nt talk abt it

anyway mr.fc is on my mind eversince yest night.

dunnoe y i kept thinking abt him.

sumtimes i just dun get wad my heart is really telling me.

urgh nvm. i gt this interview at harbourfront today.

so am i here just blogging out of boredom

so now i want to shower and get ready. update soon.

mayb after the interview i will update using my phne.

p.s nobody reply me when i msg everybody. i'm sad

okay its alr 4.33am and here i am waiting for u like a fool.

i have known better

its really no use looking at my phne every 5mins for the past 5hrs.

here i am. dunnoe wad to do abt the situation and there u are forgetting tht i really need you.

i know we are nothing mayb tht is to u

but i thought u were the person who can be there for me in times needed.

just for only 3 straight days, u were there

but then u start to fade into i dunnoe wher. 

ever since u cancel our dinner plans.

i loose u once & mayb this is happening once again.

urgh! i really had enough and ther are more things tht is bloody happening to me right now

okay. tht was really freaking relieve. okay nw lets forget abt him for awhile.

my relationship is seriously annoys me.

i dun want to be with him and he want to be with me.

i'm STUCK.

i'm sick of trying to explain to him and talk about it.

and now i'm STUCK once again. 

argh! who care as long as i know i'm no longer with him anymore :)

wake up to reality mel! ding dong. hello?

every single thing he does right nw annoys me & irritates me alot.

i dunnoe y. havent search for a reason yet or mayb i'm beginning to hate him? 

okau let just leave tht hanging as it is. one day when i find out then i tell kay.

so here it is tht i really really need help or at least someone to talk to. but there's no one.

so helooooooooo blogger =.=

i'm so pathetic

okay tdi pagi ___ called. he told me tht laptop maseh under his name.

then kn skg surat merah da dtg. wait salah. court orders have arrived.

its either dier kasi balik laptop ni or he have to spent min 2 weeks dlm lockup.

but now after quarrelling with his ouh lets just say. "irritating, bloody, assholes, fucker, pukimak, sial, sundal, chibai, buto" parents. drg masih tknk kasi passport ni!!!!!

okay i'm really sorry abt the vulgarities but ther are more actually but for right now tht is all i can think of. and if u really get to know them then u too will follow all my words.

& now he really want the laptop back.

so here i am again STUCK. dunnoe wad to do. 

i am really 50/50 whether shld i return and just wait the nxt day or mayb shld i just wait till he have my passport in his hands and exchange on the spot. 

okay for outsiders who is reading this and dunnoe the whole story at the beginning. keep ur comments & opinions for urself cox u cnt see the whole big picture & if u want to kepo2 wad is the story right frm the beginning, too bad cox it really take 24hr of ur life to listen to it. and only a few knows abt it.

wise decisions to make is killing me right now.

mr.f always told me tht i've always make a wrong decisions in life and i have one tht i fully regret it till now & i'm trying to learn frm it. so i have to really pay close attention and decide wisely for a decision. i'm just scare lar if i make the wrong one again.krg tk phm2 ke. 

and when the time i really need to listen to someone's opinion and help. there goes everybody. so i just upload it here and krg bace lar pandai2.

seriously i'm breaking apart.

things have gone to okay then worst right now.

i feel fucking shitty.

my eyes is totally fill with tears but i just want to really hold it bck and b strong.

i am strong outside but nobody know wad the hell am i'm going thru inside.

i'm really in a mess and i need sumone now.

i literally mean it NOW.

& i got two days off. thursday and friday.

still nobody want to meet me and hear out my feelings.

am i a loner or what?! okay tht enough. its freaking 5.30 in the morning and havent 

slp. i better go off now.

gosh! blogger is really irritating. 

i cnt even uploads photo for no reasons

so tht was the reason for not updating such a long time.

yea yea. alasan semate-mate

chey!

so so so anihoos~

i rather excited to blog abt this. this is have been happening all this while. of cox only the GOOD parts. let just leave behind the sad part okay.

so here goes.

#1 ) i got a new hp!! and its PINK. its lg ku990 viewty & superb amazing. fully touchscreen which cn been irritating sumtimes but i'm getting a hang of it. 

#2)i got PINK streaks of highlight in my hair! heh. and i got my fringe rebonded*smile widely 

#3) i got a job alr! working at bugis. but i seriously hate it. i mean i love the job but i hate the people. suddenly tht reminds me of cathay. hahaha. been there and obviously i dun want to happen again. still job searching since i really want weekends off to spend my time with my precious montel.

#4) got tons of new clothes and finally bangles & necklace after mths of searching the right one. yea. i know. mel is so cerewet for stuffs. some certain stuffs lar. heh.

#5) hello contact lens and goodbye geeky glasses.

#6) i got to contact my old friend bck

so there u go. phew. so how? gerek kn?! alar who care wad u think. i'm happy and i dun bother to know abt u happy or not *tongues out

here are pictures update.

me and my new pink highlights. do i have the potential of becoming of a rock chick here? hahaha. sorry for the bad lighting though.

i know i look sucky in tht picture. i was totally tired frm walking. but who cares.




so thts abt it.